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Part 1
1. "Lack of love"
Love is the greatest aphrodisiac; when you are in love with someone, you find everything about them sexy, you surrender to pleasure. Sex is more than getting to the climax, it's an act of intimacy, it's also about the journey that leads to the climax and the reason why the climax is special. That's why you people marry the one they are in love with
2. "Thinking too much"
When you are making love, free your mind and pleasure will follow. Put the stress aside, stop thinking about the baby, about the bills, about your responsibilities, whether your skin is too sweaty, whether you're making too much noise, whether you're doing it right, whether you are hard or wet enough. Stop worrying, you and your spouse deserve this moment of pleasure. Pleasure is first sought after in the mind
3. "Comparisons"
When you compare and make your expectation of what good sex is based on what you read in magazines, what you read online and what you hear from friends; when you compare the size of your hubby's tool with what you hear from friends, compare your wife's body and tricks with what you hear; you will not enjoy sex with your spouse. Sex is custom-made for every couple, leave the world behind, it's just you two
4. "Pornography"
Pornography confuses you, it plants images of strangers in your mind. Pornography becomes addictive as you are ever searching for the next steamy scene by strangers on screens. Slowly you become numb to your spouse's sexiness as you drool over strangers; even when you climax, it's not because you are thinking about your spouse but because you are thinking of porn stars. Pornography is like taking a walk with your spouse in the streets and desiring every person who passes your way, you wouldn't do that in the streets, why do that on screens? crop top items to wear of the wedding
5. "Promiscuity"
Sleeping with many people drains you; eventually, you feel lost. Even though sex takes you to a form of high, sex comes with deep feelings of emptiness in you. Sex is best enjoyed exclusively, that's why we marry
6. "Suspicion"
When you suspect your spouse of unfaithfulness your body will automatically become defensive. You keep asking in your head where has your spouse been, will you contract a disease, how dare your spouse do that?
7. "Fights with your spouse"
It is difficult to enjoy sex with a spouse you are mad at, a spouse you despise, who keeps hurting you or who makes you feel taken for granted. Sex is not for people who consider themselves enemies. Resolve disputes quickly, don't end the day with grudges, make up before before you go to bed; your sex life is at stake. Once arguments make the fire fade, it will be hard to get it back
8. "Poor mood setting"
Is your bedroom conducive for sex? Is your bedroom an eye sore or neat? Is the decor and lighting good ambiance for passion? Do you dress up for sex, investing in lingerie? Do you shower up to give you a fresh natural scent, or are you full of foul smell? Do you clean your pubic area, do you shave if your spouse loves it shaved? Your body is a meal, package it ready to eat; your bedroom is your sex haven, decorate it as such
9. "Rushing"
Unless it's a quickie, don't rush sex. Take your time, there is so much treasure hidden in your spouse's body. Explore. Tease your spouse, prolong the climb so that when the climax comes it is a massive volcano and to her, multiple eruptions
10. "Sexual incompatibility"
A person may be good in character and heart but not sexually compatible with you and so sex will be something you both struggle to do, you'll find friction and walls on your way to climax, it will exhaust you. Sexual compatibility is cultivated, you get it by learning each other.
11. "Past pain"
If the abuse of sex in the past brought you pain then you will never enjoy sex if you don't heal. If you were raped or sexually assaulted, if you were crashed sexually, if you aborted, if you used to sell your body for favors; then you need to heal to get to enjoy sex. Your spouse will help you heal if you open up, don't let something so beautiful be ruined by past pain. Let God redeem sex to how it should be- sweet and pleasurable
12. "Rigidness"
Sex is like a graceful dance, you will not enjoy it if you are rigid and have rules and fixed patterns. Remember it's is not just about you getting pleasure your way, your spouse has desires too. Your spouse could be taking you to pleasures unknown if only you relax, let loose, be open and free.